A millennia ago (well, actually 3 years)…
In 2018 I was just a tiny 16 year old, practically a baby really, and was still burying my highly queer identity under 10,000 layers of compulsive heteronormativity and shame. That same year one of the most well-known, and groundbreaking LGBTQIA+ films was released - Love Simon. I was too much of a coward to casually ask my mum if we could go see it (what if she suspected something?!) so I never ended up watching it back when everyone was talking about it online.
I heard so many good things about the film, how it made queer people feel seen and accepted, how straight parents and friends finally got it. I felt left out, and wished I felt comfortable enough to go experience for myself. Well, I recently sat down with my girlfriend, fully out and proud as my queer self, and watched Love Simon. To say I was disappointed is an understatement. Here’s why I feel that this “revolutionary” movie fell flat.
Obligatory spoiler alert: I will absolutely be spoiling the entire movie in this article, so if you haven’t seen it I suggest you do that first.
20th Century Fox
A cis white man… revolutionary
Now, don’t get me wrong. A simple, gay-is-my-only-minority-identity story was long overdue for the community, at least in a large block-buster style movie, without death, hyper-sexualization, or a gross, borderline pedophilic age-gap (looking at you Call Me By Your Name). It’s easy to follow, without a lot of complicated situations like the intersection of homophobia with other issues, like misogyny or racism. We’re able to focus on just how the average gay might experience getting outed in today’s world.
That being said… isn’t it time we have stories about other members of the LGBTQIA+ community too? In the year 2018, it’s mind-blowing to me that we were just barely showing the story of a gay boy, let alone a queer girl, or a trans person, or a fully-fledged queer relationship or… I could go on. Although it was good for the community to see someone somewhat like themselves in a major movie, with the story centered around them, I think it was a missed opportunity to show the struggles other parts of the acronym face.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not girly and flamboyant like other gays
The very first time we see another gay character in the film, he’s with a group of girls, gossiping in a high and sassy voice. Two jocks walk by, and make a mildly transphobic joke about him (saying that he has a vagina). He makes a comeback about their (non-existent) fashion taste, and then they call him a slur. Fun!
Throughout the movie it appears that the writers, on purpose or not, are comparing Simon to this other flamboyant gay, showing that Simon is just a “normal dude” who happens to be gay. Although they have a good moment in the middle of the movie, I still feel like it’s just one long bad take that reminds me of that old comic.
By comparing the other gay boy to a woman, the film creates a divide between “normal” masculine gay men, and those who don’t fit the gender stereotype. This perpetuates an issue that’s already present in the community, where gay men have their male identity questioned due to their sexuality. Matt Cain discusses his experience with this problem as a gay man in his Guardian article, and has some baffling statistics.
A staggering 69% of them said that, like me, they’ve been made to feel less of a man for being gay, bisexual or queer. Perhaps even more worrying is that 41% of them said that at some point they’ve thought they are less of a man because of their sexuality.
Sometimes I Hate Teenagers
Simon’s friends… oh I lost it at this one scene. If you’ve seen the film you probably already know what I’m talking about. If not, I’ll bring you up to speed. Basically, Simon gets outed by another kid at their high-school. Before this happened, Simon was attempting to keep himself not-outed by doing whatever this kid wanted, including “ruining” his friend’s “love lives.”
When his friends find out about this, after he is publicly outed to the school, instead of being supportive they fight with him and then abandon him. Two of them wanted to date, and Simon “kept them apart” for his own safety, so clearly he is the devil. The other girl was “in love” with him, and he didn’t dedicate his life to tracking her unspoken feelings, so once again he is clearly the devil.
Firstly, teenage “love” is always treated with such gravity in movies like this. It’s unrealistic and vaguely gross. You are 16. You will change. You are not in love with this other 16 year old. It also frames it as if love should be the end all be all of a teen’s life, when a lot of other things should be taking precedence.
The other issue is that this horrible reaction by his friends is treated as a justifiable response. One teenager didn’t want his life and possible safety to be jeopardized by getting outed, and the other teens had their poor little love lives disrupted for, like, a week. This is treated as if the situations are completely equal, if not unequal on the side of the “love lives.”
By the end of the movie all is forgiven, on the side of the friends, as if they’re the ones who get to forgive Simon for his terrible transgressions. I was absolutely fuming at the end of this. It teaches the teens watching this film, queer or not, that:
It’s ok to abandon your friends, even if something terrible like getting outed happens to them.
Your teenage “love life” should be the absolute most important thing to you - not school, not your family, and not your friends (or their safety or wellbeing).
Queer people are responsible for the feelings of their straight friends.
Cass Phanord, for 34th Street, sums up how I feel about my last point really well.
Speaking of the wrong message, why did Leah have to be in love with Simon? It was a completely unnecessary plot point that served only to play into some harmful stereotypes. It is not a queer person’s responsibility to know when their straight friends are catching feelings. It’s just not.
You outed me to the school, but these Ferris wheel tickets are rad
You’d think that a movie that hinges on public outing would take it a little more seriously. Simon is cornered by Martin, the little gremlin himself, and Martin threatens to out Simon if he doesn’t do him several favors. After that Martin is written, over and over and over again, to be seen as a sympathetic character.
He’s a goofball, an awkward nerd, overly confident - and a terrible person?! Not only is he threatening to out Simon, but he repeatedly goes after Simon’s friend Abby, who clearly wants nothing to do with him. Embarrassing, almost emotionally-manipulative scenes (like when he publicly asks her out in front of the whole school) are supposed to be seen as cute, awkward, and even clumsily charming. No! It perpetuates the toxic culture of telling boys and young men that if a girl turns you down, just keep asking (and begging, and pleading, and following her around).
After Abby rejects him, Martin outs Simon anonymously online. After Simon faces homophobia at school, Martin comes running up. He stutters about how sorry he is, that he “didn’t know people still did sh*t like that.” Simon tells him off, but what is the scene’s purpose other than to once again try to vindicate a terrible character?
At the end of the film Martin pays for Simon’s last Ferris wheel ticket; it’s a cheap attempt to redeem himself. No one goes up and gives him a BFF necklace and a hug, sure, but it still frames him as a redeemable, if not flawed character. Now, I don’t know about you, but I don’t think a character that outs someone deserves a little redemption arc at the end.
In conclusion
Overall, I felt that this was a fair attempt, if not a flawed one, at good representation. We finally get the fun teenage romance story of a queer person, but we have to deal with unfairly redeemed characters, terrible friends, and an overall lax representation of how harmful outing can be. I feel that the best thing we can reap from Love Simon is what they did right, what they did wrong, and how we can improve future queer movies and representation.
Let me know in the comments what you thought about Love Simon, and recommend some more films that I should watch.
Love, Simon - Getting Outed Isn't That Bad I Guess
This was a very nuanced review of the movie, and I appreciated it. Like, clearly you weren't a fan of the movie, but you still pointed out some good stuff it had. I get pretty worn out from every movie being called the best/worst thing ever when most fall somewhere in between. For this movie in particular, it sounds like much of the hype and praise came from it having LGTBQ+ representation in it. While that is praiseworthy, the key isn't just to have representation, it is to have good representation. Hopefully things will just keep getting better as we go along.
I wanted to highlight your little graphic about "gay people I respect/ don't respect". I think this is really important to talk about. It's a beqautiful thing when people feel truly open and comfortable in their sxulity to make it know and open to the world but when gay folks are continually cast in this excessive rainbow light that how the public begins to view ALL gays. As if anyone who isn't straight parades around as a fabulous unicorn. Great piece!